Friendship Meetings

About 6 months ago a friend of mine suggested the idea of regular friendship meetings. At first I thought the idea was absurd as if we did not talk. Then I really thought about the concept and I was sold. I understood my friends and I spoke but it was not in great depths about personal things or concerns.

The meeting took place over the phone on a conference call. I have two best friends so there is no problem with an abundance of voice on one call.

Once the day finally came we discussed obvious things first such as our distance from one another. Currently the three of us all dwelt in different areas of the Midwest. We saw one another a couple times annually however it was rare that the three of us were ever in exactly the same place at once.

Each one of us took the opportunity to give a brief overview of what’s been happening in our lives especially in regards to education and work. However my profession is in mental health and my friends work in the corporate world.

Later in the conversation we moved on intimate and romantic relationships. Only one of the three people had a boyfriend at the time and the relationship was kind of rocky. Unfortunately they ended up breaking up after but it was helpful that we both were there to hear her during her personal crisis.

Friendship meetings may be something easy and it might appear unnecessary. Having a formal friendship meeting sets time aside from things like what to wear, where to party or purchasing from the more emotionally charging aspects of a friendship. Although it may be more common for females to have friendship meetings men are definitely encouraged to do the same. Here are a few rules for friendship meetings to keep in mind when approaching your friend(s) with the idea:

1. When? Pick a time that the assembly will take place. Do not select a time that’s inconvenient for any of your buddies. Bear in mind this is democracy the time should be agreed upon by all participants.

2. Who? I recognize that most of us have many friends. Therefore they might be a group of friends that do not mesh well. For this reason select the friends which are really close to one another. To put it differently, your friendship meeting should be with people that actually know and like each other. If you have more than one friend group consider having more than 1 friendship meeting with diverse groups based on institution.

3. Where? Select a neutral location. If you have your friendship meeting in person it may be better to have it at a neutral place just like a restaurant or coffee shop. This way if something offensive or sensitive comes up nobody will feel attacked. Sometimes a convention or 3-way call is justified if you and your friends live a good distance from one another.

What will be discussed? Feel friend to come up with an agenda ahead of time if you wish. This does not have to be written down or in rock but its great to have an idea where the discuss will be going to stop tangents and random talks. Remember a friendship meeting has a purpose or schedule unlike those days when you go shoot pool or shop on a Saturday afternoon.

5. How long? I am imagining a meeting can go anywhere from 1hour to infinitely many hours.

Communicate openly. Speak you mind publicly and take possession of your ideas and emotions with “I” statements. By way of example, I feel left out when you do not spend some time with me. Making a statement such as, “You make me feel bad”, can be very offensive and lead to problems.

Take turns. Do not talk over your friends. Give each person an opportunity to express his or her ideas and feelings openly without interrupt. Taking turns to speak is a very respectful gesture towards friends and family members.

Friendship meetings can go well or they may be a disaster. Though some relationships may not require friendship meetings bear in mind there doesn’t have to be an identified for a friendship meeting to take place. Practicing open communication with your friends strengthens the connection and creates an alliance that’s irreplaceable. If things ever get rough around the edges you and your buddies already have format and pattern for communication and talks through friendship meetings.

5 Ways to Increase Your Chances of Meeting Someone Special Online

As the first decade in the 21st Century is coming to an end, most people have finally gotten over the “online dating is for losers” stigma. This could be because more people are online now, people’s lack of success in the traditional dating arena, or because there are more sites offering this service (some for free) now.

Whatever the reason, there are more people using the internet to find a romantic partner now than ever before. A Harris Interactive survey recently found that 19 percent of couples who recently married met online-more couples met online than through friends or work. Despite the increasing popularity of internet dating, many people I have interviewed have reported trouble finding any dates online or expressed dissatisfaction with the people they ended up meeting face to face. This article offers some simple tips to improve your online dating experience.

Consider Your Goals and Then Consider the Site

Evaluate why you’re looking for a romantic partner and what you really want from a romantic partner before you sign up for any dating services. The type of people that frequent each site looking for love varies greatly, as does each site’s ability to match people based on compatibility.

Are you just bored and looking for anything to help pass the time? Try Craiglist, Myspace, or Plentyoffish. All of these sites match people based on limited compatibility criteria but all are free so there will be more people to choose from. While these sites are attractive because they are free, accounts often get flooded with spam and people often do not initially know if a response or ad is from a real person. Also, these sites have limited compatibility screening services so the determination of whether it’ll work with the other person is largely up to the end users. If you’re not picky or are strapped for cash, these sites may be for you but you might find that the money you spend on bad dates would have been better spent on a higher quality pay site.

If you’re semi-serious but not looking for a spouse just yet, try Match. Looking for a spouse? Try eHarmony. If you have a very specific criterion that a potential suitor must possess, try some specialized dating service that caters to such criteria (e.g., JDate, Christiansingles, etc.). You can also try nontraditional online dating services such as free chat lines and professional matchmakers.┬áKeep in mind that different types of people frequent each site. The paid sites tend to have more educated people with higher paying jobs (I’m not trying to be a snob here, but it’s true).

Adhere to Grammatical and Spelling Rules When You Compose Your Profile

Don’t write your profile using the parlance of text messages (U, 2, cya, etc.). You have access to a full keyboard when you compose your profile so being too lazy to properly spell out words makes you look like lazy and ignorant.

For you single men out there-women love men who know how to communicate. If you are able to have a grammatically sound profile that properly communicates who you are and what you are looking for, they’ll know that you possess such skills and will be that much more inclined to contact you. If you’re not a good writer, have a friend review what you wrote before you submit it. For added bonus points, use some uncommon words in your profile text.

Keep the Rules of Supply and Demand in Mind

Women, if you’re attractive, you don’t need to post a provocative photo to go with your profile. If you do, you’ll find that your inbox is flooded with too many emails and many of the men who are interested will be interested for the wrong reasons (if you’re looking for that, then ignore this suggestion). Post a natural photo that doesn’t try too hard. Don’t worry, the men will notice you.

Men, realize that women receive at least ten times more inquiries than men do on online dating sites. It’s just the way it is. Chances are she will not respond to your initial inquiry unless you make it very interesting, humorous, or she sees something else that piques her interest. Unless you’re really interested, there’s no need to send another email asking about the first. Move on.

Talk on the Phone Before Meeting

You might be able to have many engaging chats with a potential suitor. You may mistakenly believe that because your chats and emails are interesting that you’ll click in real life. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Talk to her on the phone before you make that dinner date. You’ll be able to gauge your potential compatibility much better on the phone than in email or chat. Sure, it’s more nerve wracking than email but that’s part of the fun.

Realize not Everyone is 100% Honest

If people in bars lie to hook up, you can imagine the temptations for embellishing or inventing certain truths in the online dating arena. If someone lists their income at $150,000 per year, he might make $90,000 a year. If someone states they’re divorced, she might be separated. Everyone feels insecure to a certain degree and they will tell white lies or, in some cases, huge lies, to vie for your attention. I’m not saying everyone lies online, but most do at least a little bit…you might want to use a 100% honesty gauge to judge potential suitors (it will certainly narrow the pool to a reasonable number).

Making Past Relationships Work for You

I’ve heard so many folks say they seem to attract the same sort of person over and over again. One woman told me that if she walks into a room with 40 men, the one alcoholic in the room will find her.

It’s important to understand your past relationships in the context of what qualities your boyfriend/girlfriend owned that lead to the relationship being unsuccessful. It is best to record and get a blank piece of paper. Next to each title, describe the characteristics the person had that caused the failure. Then, list their personality traits that attracted you in the first location to them. Most likely, you’ll see a pattern in the type.

This listing represents your “hooks”. Hooks are the undesirable emotional and chemical (chemistry) responses you have that make you vunerable to particular kinds of people. You can use this information to assess.

If you’re dating someone with your hooks, proceed with caution. People with your hooks together will save you much heartache and pain.
When you meet someone for the first time and you feel that rush of excitment, remember you are not actually reacting to that person because you don’t know them. You’re speaking to a stranger. Proceed with care.

One you have the knowledge and understand where you’re vunerable, you’ll have the ability to choose wisely. It may be that the nice person you went out with does not have your hooks. But with effort, your choices will be eventually followed by your feelings. Try to give it a chance, I suggest three dates, to see if something develops. They’ll become more attractive often as you get to know the person.

Scroll to top