Making Past Relationships Work for You

I’ve heard so many folks say they seem to attract the same sort of person over and over again. One woman told me that if she walks into a room with 40 men, the one alcoholic in the room will find her.

It’s important to understand your past relationships in the context of what qualities your boyfriend/girlfriend owned that lead to the relationship being unsuccessful. It is best to record and get a blank piece of paper. Next to each title, describe the characteristics the person had that caused the failure. Then, list their personality traits that attracted you in the first location to them. Most likely, you’ll see a pattern in the type.

This listing represents your “hooks”. Hooks are the undesirable emotional and chemical (chemistry) responses you have that make you vunerable to particular kinds of people. You can use this information to assess.

If you’re dating someone with your hooks, proceed with caution. People with your hooks together will save you much heartache and pain.
When you meet someone for the first time and you feel that rush of excitment, remember you are not actually reacting to that person because you don’t know them. You’re speaking to a stranger. Proceed with care.

One you have the knowledge and understand where you’re vunerable, you’ll have the ability to choose wisely. It may be that the nice person you went out with does not have your hooks. But with effort, your choices will be eventually followed by your feelings. Try to give it a chance, I suggest three dates, to see if something develops. They’ll become more attractive often as you get to know the person.

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